Support4Change Blog

March 4, 2009
By Renee Payan Wong, Webmaster, Support4Change.com

Arlene will be on hiatus from the Support4Change Blog, while working on the Better Tomorrows Program. In the meantime, I will provide you with what I think of as Arlene’s “Greatest Hits.”

This article is from Support4Change’s sister-site, ChildhoodAffirmations.com

As we deal with chaos in the world at large, we become increasingly aware of how precious are the relationships we have with not only our children, but our brothers, sisters, parents, grandparents, aunts, uncles, cousins, nieces, and nephews. We plan to “get-togethers,” even though this can bring out the most annoying traits of siblings and feuding relatives.

Treating even the most quirky and obnoxious family member with the greatest kindness possible can powerfully demonstrate to your children compassion and acceptance of the imperfections common to all of us. On the other hand, continuing to revisit old wounds and grudges, or demanding others behave as we want them to behave, teaches intolerance and an unwillingness to forgive.

Since our children have an exquisite way of mirroring the behavior we show others (especially those traits we most dislike about ourselves), we would do well to carefully consider how we treat family, as well as friends when we are together. Just as important, what we say about others behind their backs, on the way to a gathering and on the way home.

I’ve been long amused by our tendency to expect other people to tolerant our idiosyncrasies and periodic poor behavior, while at the same time being unwilling to extend that acceptance to others — even if, especially if, those people are in our family. Likewise, we expect other nations to be forgiving of our own country’s shortcomings, but we are quick to criticize the choices other nations and other cultures.

What are you teaching your children about tolerance, compassion, and kindness by the actions and words you use in your own family?

Forgiveness is the act of admitting we are like other people.

—Christina Baldwin

I think one should forgive and remember… . If you forgive and forget in the usual sense, you’re just driving what you remember into the subconscious; it stays there and festers. But to look, even regularly, upon what you remember and know you’ve forgiven is achievement.

—Faith Baldwin

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