Support4Change Blog

February 14, 2008

Category: Strengthening Friendship and Relationships

By Arlene Harder, MFT

 

Why did I put this picture on the Welcome page? Read it and find out.

See notes below to learn about the Publisher’s Special for Ask Yourself Questions and Change Your Life. 

Love is profound interest. Isn’t that a great statement?

I read that in an article, A Valentine’s Day Meditation on Love, Sex, and Relationships, that came with a request for me to review a book called Essence of Tantric Sexuality by Mark Michaels (Swami Umeshanand Saraswati) and Patricia Johnson (Devi Veenanand). Though I’ve heard about Indian Tantric practices, I didn’t know much about them. The authors, who have been teaching Tantra and Kriya Yoga together since 1999, note that, “Although the number of Tantric texts that deal directly with sexual activity is quite small, most Westerners associate Tantra with love, sex, and relationships. While Western ideas about Tantra are thus somewhat misguided, if you can bring a Tantric sensibility to love and relationship, your love life will be richer and more fulfilling.”

If you have read my blog on Soulmates and Solemates, you can see that I liked what they said about love, although I don’t think one needs to follow Tantric practices to have intimacy with your partner. Here are a few quotes from the article, which I printed on Support4Change:

“Celebrating Valentine’s Day is controversial in 21st-century India. This is due, in part, to the rise of Hindu fundamentalism and objections to the holiday’s Christian origins. More importantly, conservative Indians view Western ideas about romantic love as alien and immoral. Arranged marriages are still very much the norm, even as India becomes a technological superpower, and in arranged marriages, love is a fringe benefit, not a necessity.

… Tantric love involves focused attention, awareness and reverence for the other.

By contrast, the contemporary romantic model treats love as either superficial and fleeting or full of drama, pain, and suffering, while insisting that it is the basis for any good relationship. The romance industry would have us believe that the only valid form of love is the kind that leaves us light-headed and swooning or that we must seek completion in another, that a single soul-mate is out there in the world and that once we find that special someone, everything will be all right. This can not only set people up for disappointment and an endless search for the “one,” it can also lead to the belief that the intensity of early infatuation is the only kind of romantic passion worth having. In reality, this intensity is fleeting; our biology guarantees that it will pass after three to six months. 

… The Tantric approach is radically different, and the ancient tradition of spiritual partnership remains relevant today. In this model: “The relationship between partners is one of mutual aspiration, effort, and assistance. The two are equals, with neither one regarding the other as inferior or as an object to be manipulated for selfish purposes.”

A Few Notes

 

Publisher’s Special

If you’ve been reading this blog for the past two weeks, you’ll know that today I was to send my valentine gift to those who requested a free e-book of Ask Yourself Questions and Change Your Life before 8:00 AM this morning. (I didn’t get the instructions for reading the book before 11:00, but at least I did do it on Valentine’s Day.) Since that time is past, you can no longer get the e-book for free, but you can take advantage of the Publisher’s Special.

Buy the book from my publisher, Personhood Press, before March 30, and you will only pay $12.95 plus shipping. It will be sent to you before the end of March. The store price will be $14.95 when it becomes available in May.

Tax and Spend Game 

Tune in late Friday or Saturday for an introduction to my “Tax and Spend Game.” It may just be the thing you need to help you discover which candidate you want for president.